Reasonable Husbands – what are they?

Husbands – How do they think? The good ones I mean.

In this post, I’d like to explore the issue of Reasonable Husbands and their Leadership of their families and their marriages.

1. Should a husband accept all of his wife’s opinions? That sounds bad, I know…..
2. Should a husband eagerly split, or allow control to be split 50%-50% in the marriage?
3. Should I contribute my half or everything emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically?

I know you might have a few opinions on this one! If you don’t, my hopes are after we are finished you will! Whenever I do something like this I find that my opinions may change SEVERAL times on an issue that I thought I was totally sold on to begin with.

I located a couple of quotes that were directed toward women and their empowerment. I think husbands could also learn a lot from these quotes. My goal is to help husbands be better for their wives, and families. Here are the quotes, 1 is not from Eleanor Roosevelt:

“Women are like teabags. We don’t know our true strength until we are in hot water!”                 ~ Eleanor Roosevelt, Former First Lady of the United States

“Too often the great decisions are originated and given form in bodies made up wholly of men, or so completely dominated by them that whatever of special value women have to offer is shunted aside without expression.”
~ Eleanor Roosevelt, Former First Lady of the United States

“Men are like scientific calculator. The can do the expected stuff, but they can also do the complex tasks as well.”                                                                                                                      ~Justin McKnight, Reasonable Dose

I love the former first lady, although I think that a few of her ideas may have been twisted by society. Some of her positions may have been sensationalized or changed as well. Husbands that I know and have heard speak honestly use phrases like “Happy Wife, Happy Life”. I understand the sentiment, but since before I was married, I wondered, if men think that way, are they giving way for their own feelings to come in?

Well, I think the GRAND DEBATE between the differences in men and women could be saved for another blog post! For now I’d like to discuss the reasonable Husband. What does he think? I guess we don’t really talk about him much.

Possible thoughts coming in:

1. Reasonable Husbands are out there, they aren’t hard to find. You could be right.
2. Reasonable Husbands, HA. They don’t exist. You too might be right.

Let’s respect all opinions…but one opinion might be more Reasonable than the other, so lets take a look!

The Characteristics Of The Reasonable Husband

Some of these thoughts may be shocking but as I list them off….T.R.E.A.D. Lightly and consider what a Reasonable Husband might say.

1. A reasonable husband may not subscribe to the “Happy Wife, Happy Life” ideal.
   1. I always want my wife to be happy. (I’ve been married for 10 years) I try to be reasonable, but sometimes she can’t be, sometimes I’m not. That’s the truth, so that’s reasonable, isn’t it?
2. A reasonable husband should learn to accept the things about his wife that make him happy, and discuss things that make him unhappy….that seems reasonable enough right?
   1. There also might be a few things that he will not, or should not accept. That sounds like it’s reasonable as well, right?

The Unreasonable Husband’s Characteristics

I wanted to make this post because I know a few husbands that are not reasonable, AT ALL. I’ve seen this look a few different ways. It’s been frustrating, sad, and I’ve even seen it ruin some marriages.

1. Some husbands have wives that love to shop. Their wives seem to have no regard for the financial needs for the family to function, and function well.
   1. It’s interesting to see the stress on the faces of these men when I talk to them.
   2. They are deflated, and there is incredible pressure that they face everyday.
   3. Some hold it in, others may lash out, and not handle things well……UNREASONABLE Indeed!
2. Others may have wives that make all of the decisions.
   1. I guess that can work. But, it seems like an unreasonable way to communicate, solve problems, or come to decisions when married. I’m all about being Reasonable…..all the pressure shouldn’t be left to the wife OR the husband. The more reasonable the better.

I’ve got a major problem with Unreasonable Husbands.

I don’t think they are respecting their wives and marriages, as best they could. They sort of let their families down. In my opinion, anyone that is unreasonable, should look to become reasonable. I think there is a few expectations a husband should live up to. If he doesn’t, well…..he should fix that.

How-To (What should you do to become more reasonable as a husband?)

1. Have the fight, with your wife, if it’s worth having. Nothing trivial here.
2. Encourage your wife to lead, especially when you know she is stronger than you are.
3. Assert yourself more. Especially when you know your wife might be out of her depth.
4. Don’t be unreasonable and pretend to know EXACTLY what’s right, ALL THE TIME.
5. Talk to your wife, help her to see what you see.
6. Explain your feelings, she shouldn’t be the only one that gets to be somewhat emotional. (Typically speaking)
7. Listen to her to ensure you fully understand her perspective. She may come up with great ideas, you hadn’t thought of. (I know my wife does.)
8. Help more around the house.
9. Be sure to ask for help when you are working on the car!

These all seem like reasonable things to do. Right?!

T.R.E.A.D. lightly Team Reason. That’s Reasonable…

Let’s Finish Up

1. Do you know any Reasonable Husbands?
2. Are you a Reasonable or Unreasonable Husband?
3. Do you know any Unreasonable Husbands?
4. What have you noticed in husbands you know, or the husband you have?
5. What should husbands do to make themselves more reasonable?

Let me know where you stand, if you’ve changed, let me know in the comments below. I’d love to chat with you guys about this. Don’t forget to be Reasonable in your comments!

Until Next time Team Reason!