How Insecure Men Ruin Everything!
Insecure Men Cannot Be Trusted
Under no circumstances can you, or should you trust an insecure man. EVEN if he is your father or husband. Don’t confuse this to mean you should disrespect or abandon, the men in your life if you find some truisms in this article, or anything horrible like that. I’m just saying you cannot trust insecure men…..they don’t think the way they ‘should’ yes SHOULD. Here’s why.
Let’s say you know a man, he’s a boaster. One of those guys that always talks about himself. ALL THE TIME. You never stop hearing about:
- What he has. Where he’s going. Where he’s been.
- Who he hung out with. How much he paid for something.
- Who he ran into. How he’s taken Judo, swam 20 laps in the pool, ran a 5-minute mile.
- He even met the Pope once!
Insecure :
Subject to fear, doubts; not-self confident or assured
Not confident certain, uneasy; anxious
He may boast because of what he doesn’t have?
He may not be confident in what he actually knows, so he claims to know it ALL.
What happens when you come to this guy, vulnerable…..you want to ask a question. You need to ask this question. You’d like to save some money and buy a used car, an older one. You remember him saying, “He’s never owned a used car. Everyone that has had so many problems with it. He’d NEVER buy used.”
You just want advice, not a lecture, or persuasion. But, you feel like you know what he’s going to say. You can’t trust him. His insecurity may lead you down a path of ruin. To be fair, his methods may have worked for him. They may not for you. His insecurities are a turn off.
Falling In Love
What if a daughter falls in-love with a blue-collar guy. Because of her fathers insecurities, their relationship could be in jeopardy because of her choice in a mate! Maybe.
I’m not saying all men are like this. We just have to evaluate the men we know. Are they Insecure?
I have 2 daughters….I don’t matter. As long as they are safe, secure, and loved…..that’s all I want.
Insecure Men Cannot Make Good Decisions
Decisions could ‘turn out’ to be good decisions after it’s all said and done. But what I mean is, insecure men are INCAPABLE of ACTUALLY making good SOUND decisions. Insecurity is blind. Motivations for the insecure, are different from those that aren’t.
I’ve got a friend. I’ve never seen this friend in sweats or jeans. I thought, “this guy is always looking good!”. I asked him about it after a couple of years had gone by. We ran into each other at the supermarket one Saturday morning around 11. He was dressed to impress as usual. I complimented his shirt, cuff-links, and asked him, where he was going all dressed up?
He told me he’d just come from Home Depot and was picking up some fruit so he could go home and make some smoothies!
I asked him if he’d come from an engagement earlier that morning, or hadn’t changed his clothes yet from the night before? I always feel so ‘casual’ when we hang out. I said, “Why are you so dressed up?” He answered, and it hit me. He’s actually…..INSECURE.
He responded, “Man, I’m not dressed up. This just a requirement for me. You never know who you might run into, so you’ve always got to be ready, or at least look ready!”
I was floored, it was a Saturday. The only 2 places he was going were, the hardware store and supermarket. I thought, if you ran into someone at these places, they would probably be dressed down. Jeans or some sweats most likely. I understood him better, but looked at him differently after that. Not negatively, I just realized he was insecure.
Insecure Men Make Horrible Fathers and Husbands
Fathers and Husbands are supposed to lead. But if they are insecure, they can’t be trusted, and do not make good decisions.
- I know insecure fathers that have never told their sons, I Love You.
I know it can be generational, or whatever. Who cares. Do you love the kid? Do you think he’d like to hear it? Then tell him. - Insecure husbands may never speak up when their wife leads. All of her decisions are the final decisions.
She may make great decisions, that is not my point. He has an opinion, and perspective that he willingly swallows, because he’s too insecure to bring it up.
The communications between that husband, and that wife are strained at best. Because of him and his insecurities. - Insecure dads may be so excited about their sons football game, cuz’ it’s so MANLY! But whenever his daughter wants to show him the dance routine leading up to the recital he never has time.
- Insecure husbands may sleep in pink bedrooms, NOT BECAUSE THEY LIKE IT. But because they can’t put their foot down. They are so insecure about speaking up, that they’ve misled their wives. She may think that he enjoys floral print pillowcases, and pink walls. He’s misleading her, and cannot be trusted.
In the End
Insecure men are all around us. You are one, or your aren’t. It’s not the end of the world, if we have more or less insecure men. But it certainly does speak to the environment that we live in. It’s a testament to how things will, flow.
If you know any secure men, thank them. Call them, text them, drop them a private message on social media, or write them a letter (don’t forget the stamp). They are there and need to be acknowledged, it would be cool of you to call them out.
On the other hand, they aren’t insecure men. Weather you thank them or not, they are going to keep up the good work, because that’s just who they are. Just tell them so they know, that you know.
Thanks Dad for not being boastful, or arrogant. You always told me you loved me. I needed that. I’m trying to raise my son to be the same way – Love you Pops
Until Next time Team Reason.
