DISCLAIMER: I wrote this back in March of 2015 also…#choicetime. Leave it unpublished, or give it to you now…ENJOY
The world at large brings us lots of things:
TV and Internet to share thoughts, but can choke us with Reality TV
Every commercial highlights “getting out of debt”. They say nothing about how your debt comes about, do they?
They also tell us how, “It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind.” That’s nonsense. Here’s why…
That saying, comes from the medieval times up through the 20th century. It’s called The Breach of Promise.
Where back-in-the-day, there was a lot of money that changed hands when marriages took place. Marriages were arranged, and not based at all on love. Land was split. Cattle divided, along with resources, man-power, and anything else that could be thrown into the deal.
When man and woman were set to marry, they entered into WEDLOCK. The woman was looked at as property. The man could not change his mind, and reconsider the marriage, without violating the law – AKA CONTRACT to-be-wed. He would Breach his Promise. Just as there could be a law suit today for misrepresenting marital assets, the same was done back in medieval times.
A woman faced a lot of social problems, exile, status changes, and her family would be ‘out in the cold’ if she didn’t want to marry. Hence the birth of the phrase. ‘It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind.’
A woman’s rights and ideas had to be considered. She was not just some bargaining chip to be moved at will, to satisfy some treaty between countries, or neighboring farmers. So it is NOT a woman prerogative to change her mind. A woman’s mind changes just like anyone else’s does. Women, for the most part, have different overall feelings and desires. It’s a fact. A Reasonable one. The woman is not all that complicated…
A Reasonable Woman Needs…
To know that she is first in your life.
This is not directed to men and men alone. If you know a woman, any woman. She wants to be first in your life. And that’s ok. Don’t fight it.
It can be a bit frustrating if you have a hobby. Let’s call it GOLF. Well, it’s more than a hobby. You would play golf if you could, every waking moment of the day. It brings you happiness, you love it, you’ve mastered it. You could honestly teach a class on the perfect swing if you had to.
NONE OF THAT MATTERS.
You can have Golf, all you want. If you are married, answer her text messages when you are out on the course. Maybe not everyone, but most of them surely. Just don’t forget about her.
If you are going to be inaccessible for a while, tell her that in advance so she knows what to expect. Give her a call just to say, “I can’t talk for long but, I was thinking about you.” “Or, How’s your day going?”
She will have her NEED TO BE FIRST – SATISFIED. And you’ll feel good doing it. Won’t you…?
A Reasonable Woman Wants…
To have most of your attention.
Look at her when she talks to you. As a husband, I know I have to listen to what my wife says. Not because it’s a chore, but it’s what she reasonably needs. Sometimes I listen in a variety of ways:
I listen, while I’m doing something else (Multi-Task Listening).
I can repeat over and over again, “What did you say?” (Half – Listening).
NONE OF THESE WORK.
I think back and remember when my mother was going through her empty-nester phase. My younger sister was going away to school. She had all of my sister’s attention one day, and none of it the next. She struggled with this transition. She struggled to come to the realization that she would not get my sister’s attention as she had in the past. My sister was her life, every day, all day. Then, it stopped.
This was totally unintentional on my sister’s part. There wasn’t anything she could’ve done, or should’ve done. But now, I see what actually happened.
A Reasonable Woman Loves…
Recklessly.
Simply put. When a woman loves, she loves. When she doesn’t…she doesn’t.
Woman are very Reasonable as it relates to how they love, and who they love. Do you ever listen to a woman after she meets someone for the first time? Maybe a first date….
“He was so attentive (Attention).”
“He was a great listener (Attention).”
“He asked about me, my job, my family ( She’s First ).”
“He didn’t interrupt me once ( First again ).”
“I’d go out with him again”
VERDICT.
Or this one…Attending A Concert
Women really get into the concerts they go to. I’ve heard things like
“It’s like the guy was singing to me.” (Attention/First).”
“We had front row seats and he kept looking at me (Attention/First).”
“I’m going to see HIM whenever he comes back to town”
VERDICT.
Women are very Reasonable
This isn’t about challenging a woman, her acts, and questioning their validity. We just want to Reasonably understand a woman. And dispel the myth of female complexity!
Women are not the confusing conundrums society wants to have us believe they are. I think that’s a cop out when people say that. I don’t think they want to dig deep enough to figure out the woman. He complexities, and simplicities.
DO NOT FIGHT the need that any woman has to have your ATTENTION.
DO NOT FIGHT the need she has to be put FIRST.
These are futile exercises, reserved for those that want miserable lives. A woman is a complex creature yes…..but she’s also very simple in her design.
Call your mom, wife, sister, friend. Ask her how her day is going, and don’t settle for the canned responses, “Fine, Ok, Same-ol’ Same-ol’.” Dig a bit deeper. Put her FIRST and give her your UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.
I want to do something special for you.
In the Comments Below, tell me a woman’s name. First and Last Initial only. Tell me why she’s so AWESOME. If you think she’d be ok with you leaving her email address in the comments, do it! I’ll send her a personal email, telling her just how AWESOME you thought she was, to tell ME about her.
Tweet me @ReasonableDose. Tell me who she is, if she’s on Twitter I’ll tweet her personally telling her just how AWESOME she is.
I gotta call my mom, grandmother, sister, and go hug my wife and daughters. They are simple creatures!
